| that look... | for everyone |
yesterday,
i took zahra to a supermarket. as usual, i let her to pick 5 items for
herself. lately, i take this kind of moment to teach her math. it was
pretty fun actually. she picked noodlesses and counted them one by one.
she helped me out with other things like to choose which jam i should
pick and push the cart. she was so sweet. untill something came up..
i was in an aisle, and zahra was in the other aisle. i was about to look for her (i could never take my eyes off her whenever i go with her). on some level and for many reasons, i'm always worried that she might be involved in any particular situation which might hurt her or hurt anyone else.
and that day, what i've been worried about whole this long, did take place. i saw her was touching an unkown man's face. if i have to guess, i think i know why she was doing that. she's been always interested in touching skins which have been shaved. she loves to sense its texture. i suppose, it gives her some sort of tickling sensation to her hand skin. she loves to do it all the time. only, she usually does it either to her dad or to her grandpas. it never occured to me that she might do the same thing to a completely stranger. gosh!
and i finally got there. now, that unknown man looked really upset about being touched impolitely like that by some unknown kid. while i was saying my apology to him, he was just giving me that look that i will never forget. it was the kind of look that easily interpreted, "what's with your kid? is she crazy or something?" . again i uttered my apology. i was going to explain it to him why zahra did that, unfortunately that man seemed too upset and just went away like that, right after he gave me that look for the second time.
to be honest, i was really embarrassed by this. and if i have to admit, it enfuriated me at some point. i told zahra in strong tone to not to do that ever ever again. and she said okay.
at home, i was rethinking about what happened. i asked my self, did zahra know if what she did to that man would humiliate me?did she mean to make me angry?and most importantly, did she really understand the reason as to why she's not allowed to do some sort of thing? Ya Allah, she's completely innocent.
i thought that, by never taking my eyes off her, i'll be able to prevent her of being hurted. turn out, the one that get easily hurted is me. i unconciusly kept preventing my own self from being hurted.
may Allah help me...
i was in an aisle, and zahra was in the other aisle. i was about to look for her (i could never take my eyes off her whenever i go with her). on some level and for many reasons, i'm always worried that she might be involved in any particular situation which might hurt her or hurt anyone else.
and that day, what i've been worried about whole this long, did take place. i saw her was touching an unkown man's face. if i have to guess, i think i know why she was doing that. she's been always interested in touching skins which have been shaved. she loves to sense its texture. i suppose, it gives her some sort of tickling sensation to her hand skin. she loves to do it all the time. only, she usually does it either to her dad or to her grandpas. it never occured to me that she might do the same thing to a completely stranger. gosh!
and i finally got there. now, that unknown man looked really upset about being touched impolitely like that by some unknown kid. while i was saying my apology to him, he was just giving me that look that i will never forget. it was the kind of look that easily interpreted, "what's with your kid? is she crazy or something?" . again i uttered my apology. i was going to explain it to him why zahra did that, unfortunately that man seemed too upset and just went away like that, right after he gave me that look for the second time.
to be honest, i was really embarrassed by this. and if i have to admit, it enfuriated me at some point. i told zahra in strong tone to not to do that ever ever again. and she said okay.
at home, i was rethinking about what happened. i asked my self, did zahra know if what she did to that man would humiliate me?did she mean to make me angry?and most importantly, did she really understand the reason as to why she's not allowed to do some sort of thing? Ya Allah, she's completely innocent.
i thought that, by never taking my eyes off her, i'll be able to prevent her of being hurted. turn out, the one that get easily hurted is me. i unconciusly kept preventing my own self from being hurted.
may Allah help me...
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